I feel quite bad. One of the people I rang when I learned he had died was Rob Green, their bass player. I know there's no good way to learn about the death of a friend, but a phone call by their sobbing sister while they are in a dentist's waiting room is not the best.
It's amazing how the news spread. One of the first thing I know I had to do was tell his friends, because I know that one friend of his who died, their family didn't allow any friends at the funeral and I know how badly that affected Mob, I wanted them all to know they were included. I called two people initially, and they both said that they would spread the word, I can only imaging how much that sucked, I know how hard it was on me. They did a sterling job. There was another guy that rang and texted him a little later who I called back, he... I don;t know, maybe he thought I was messing about and having a laugh. I yelled at me "what are you talking about he's dead?" and hung up promising to call back. A few hours later he texted for more info. I guess the word was spreading by then and he knew it from other people.
Then I went and created this Facebook group, which might seem a bit weird, but Mob had so many friends, most of whom I didn't know or had met only once while we were all drunk, but I needed to get it out there because I knew he would want people to come to the funeral given what he had said about his friend. So That was the primary reason for the group, but it really took off, pictures, stories, memories. It had been equal parts heartbreaking and hilarious to read. Friends of my parents have joined, people as far away as Croatia, mob's friends currently in Canada and New Zealand. I never knew how many lives he had touched.
The funeral currently has over 112 confirmed yesses from his friends, plus family, my friend, my mum's friends coming for support. It's going to be huge. It's great news, of course. I just wish (weird as it is to say) that he was here to see how over he was.
I've been fairly heavily involved in planning the funeral and posting updates to the Facebook group. I'm making a slideshow of photos to have at the wake, as well as organizing CDs of his favourite music. I'm leasing with the printers about creating the order of service, and the wording (theirs is not awesome) and pictures. I'm also helping my parents chose the music for the funeral. We need three pieces. We're sorted on 2 and 3, but the first one is tricky. ! is as people walk in, 2 is for a moment of reflection, and 3 is as people leave. 2 will be Via Munich my Tony Sly and 3 Live Like A Warrior by Matisyahu. I think 1 will probably by Message from Your Heart by Kina Grannis. I loved her music. We went to see her together once in London.
We have a meeting tomorrow with a guy who will probably do the service. We want a humanist service, but there are no humanist celebrants available, so the funeral directors are sending us a guy who does religious funerals but is willing to do a humanist one. The thing, is, he's a C of E Minister, ex-army chaplain, and very posh sounding. I just don;t know if he'll be right. My main concern is what if he decides to sneak religion in. Like, the finer director said it is normal for the Lord's Prayer to be recited, I don;t want that. Nor does dad or my sister, mum likes it, for some reason. I don't. At all. It makes me super uncomfortable.
So, we'll see tomorrow what happens. If we're not happy though, there isn't anyone else. This would mean finding someone to do it ourselves. Very much not ideal. I don;t think I'd be able to stand up there and not get emotional. I don;t know that anyone else would either.